Tools that meet your business where it lives.

Custom AI dashboards. Physical hardware on your desk that keeps your data safe. A little pet that tracks your business. Built for small operations tired of renting software they'll never own.

*Pets not required, but highly recommended.

Tell me about your business → See how it works
Mr. Blobby the blobfish, on the screen of a retro Macintosh-style dock — the actual hardware kit Blobby Labs ships with every client system
System running
The brief

The blobfish only looks weird on the surface.

Some see a sad, melting pink blob staring back at them. A pathetic little guy.

Except he's not.

Down in the deep ocean — where Psychrolutes marcidus actually lives — he looks completely normal. Healthy, even. The "blob" only happens when you rip him out of 3,000 feet of water pressure and drag him to the surface.

The same thing happens to small businesses every day.

Some consultant or sales rep convinces a three-person team they need enterprise software built for a 500-person sales floor. Dashboards tracking metrics nobody asked about. "Best practices" designed for org charts with seventeen layers of middle management. A subscription model you need a lawyer to escape.

The business didn't have a problem before. Now it looks like a blobfish on a dinner plate.

We build software that fits the business that already exists. Your desk. Your workflow. Your weird little process that actually works. No bloat. No hostage-taking. No dashboards for the sake of dashboards.

Just tools that do the job — and get out of the way.

How it works

Four steps. Yours forever.

Meet

We sit down and map your operation. What do you track? What do you forget? What's the thing you keep meaning to systematize but never do?

Build

A custom dashboard, tuned to your workflow. Automations where they help. Nothing where they don't. We pick a pet that matches your business.

Plug in

Hardware arrives: a Mac Mini in a retro shell, sized to live on your desk. Private hosting via Cloudflare Tunnel. Automatic backups. Battery backup.

Live

The dashboard runs. The pet reacts. We come back when you want something new. You own the code, the data, and the hardware. Forever.

The cast

Every industry gets its own pet.

We build a dashboard for an industry once, then ship that battle-tested template to every subsequent client in that industry — customized, with a pet that mirrors your real metrics. Click a tile to see the template, or claim the pioneer slot for an industry that's still open.

See all industries →

What we build

Tools for businesses SaaS forgot about.

Property & building operations

Tenant dashboards, maintenance tickets, compliance calendars, SMS routing, lease tracking. Built from the ground up for small landlords and mixed-use buildings.

Harding Centre · 66 units

Small business automation

Custom workflows for the tasks you do every day. Scheduling, client tracking, reminders, SMS confirmations, recurring jobs — whatever your operation actually needs.

Dashboards · Automation · SMS

Niche tools for specific trades

Tattoo shops, breweries, music venues, dog walkers, small farms, estate sale companies, escape rooms, barber shops, boutique hotels. If SaaS hasn't made a product for you, we can.

Your industry, probably

Consulting & advisory

Not every problem needs custom software. Sometimes it needs a second pair of eyes. Hour-by-hour advisory for small operations figuring out what to build, what to buy, and what to ignore.

Before you commit
Philosophy

The things we believe.

You should own your software.

Not rent it. When we're done, you have the code, the database, the hardware. No monthly subscription. No held-hostage data. If we stopped existing tomorrow, your system still runs.

Dashboards should live on your desk.

Private, local hosting. Your data doesn't need to live on a server in Virginia. It can live on a Mac Mini in a cute case three feet from you.

Software should have a pulse.

A business with a pet that reacts to its metrics is a business the team actually checks on. Blobby gets watched. Blobby gets cared for. That's the whole trick.

What's in the kit
▸ Custom dashboard
Tuned to your workflow. Web-based, fast, yours.
▸ Mac Mini in retro shell
Sized for your desk. Looks like a 1988 Macintosh.
▸ Your custom pet
Reacts to real business metrics. Evolves. Sleeps.
▸ SMS integration
Inbound + outbound. Carrier-compliant.
▸ Private hosting
Cloudflare Tunnel. Your data never leaves your control.
▸ Automatic backups
Daily, with SD card mirror. UPS battery backup included.
▸ Setup, training, + user guide
On-site installation, team walk-through, and a printed reference guide for the whole team.
▸ Ongoing availability
We come back when you need something new. No retainer.
The retro Macintosh-style dock that houses the Mac Mini

Tell us about your business.

Fifteen minutes on a phone call. No pitch. We'll ask questions and suggest a pet.

Start a conversation →